Mental Illness — We Can’t Get Over It

Mental illness isn’t always seen. Like many diseases, it can be an invisible killer. The tiniest thing can occur that afflicted individuals see as a Colorado Fourteener peak.

They try to climb the mountain with a figurative 100 lb. backpack filled with anxiety and worst-case scenarios. As they slip along a dark path, cold winds seeping into their soul, voices explain how worthless they are. Eventually, something snaps.

The only way to end the heart-wrenching pain and continual chatter is to stop being. Either they self-medicate to the point of numbness, physically harm themselves, or end their lives to quiet everything for good.

Yet, their friends and family may not see any of this internal turmoil. On the surface, they seem like they always have thanks to years of practice creating a tranquil facade. As a result, it comes as a shock that they had a mental illness.

The “Party of Five” Syndrome

I always like to compare real-life mental health issues with those found on the 90s FOX series Party of Five. In one storyline, the family’s nanny Kristen fell into a deep depression. Every time she was on screen, she was either shown crying or not willing to get out of bed.

Yes, these are two common symptoms of depression. However, they aren’t always primary indicators. Personally, I still got out of bed and went to work during the darkest moments of my depression and anxiety.

No one knew how fast my heart beat due to panic attacks created by imaginary scenarios.

No one heard the voices I did that said I wasn’t a good father or writer.

No one saw me gag while brushing my teeth because my adrenaline was so high due to anxiety.

No one knew how I dreaded the sunrise because I knew it meant I’d need to struggle for another day.

We Can’t Get Over It

Mental illness is a chronic condition. We can’t get over it as uneducated people believe. Yes, it can be kept at bay through the right combination of medication, proper therapy, and strong coping tools. Nevertheless, there’s always a trigger lurking somewhere to get you ever closer to that dark abyss that doesn’t seem to have a bottom.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues in 2013. Though I thought I had things under control I ended up at an inpatient mental health facility in the summer of 2020 due to a severe mental breakdown. This is where I was diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder.

It has taken me years to crawl out of the morass of my thoughts and reconstruct my life. Still, I have moments where the darkness encroaches around the edges of my mind. While I’m able to recover and move forward, I know my issues won’t go away.

How You Can Help

Instead of telling someone, “Get over it” or “Snap out of it,” here are some other ways to detect trouble and help someone fight mental illness.

• Understand that it’s a chronic condition like arthritis or asthma. Some days are okay. Then, out of the blue, the condition flares up again.
• Say something like, “You seem like you’re down. Do you want to talk about what’s happening?” Don’t pressure them to spill their guts. Let them lead the discussion while you listen.
• Do. Not. Judge. Seriously, this opens a giant rabbit hole for the other person that swallows them whole.
• Contact support teams if you feel someone is on the verge of suicide. Don’t wait for them to say, “I feel like killing myself” because they probably won’t do that. However, you can look for signs. For example, they might say they’re a burden to others or have no purpose. In those situations, immediately contact their family members or 911 for assistance.

Additionally, familiarize yourself with support lines where counselors are available 24 hours a day to help. For instance:

• Contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1–800–273–8255 (TALK)
• NSPL Online Chat Services Crisis Textline: Text “HOME” to 741–741

In the end, the only way for those with mental illness to see the light is to know others are behind them. Don’t let the voices your friends and family members hear lead them down a path of darkness.