Convoy 2022: A Dramatic Reenactment
Now, for your reading pleasure, a dramatic reenactment of the trucker convoy that circled Washington D.C.’s Capital Beltway on Sunday, March 7th, to protest … something.
Truckers: We want mask mandates removed.
Government Representative (GR): Well, we already did that. In fact, most of the states have eliminated mask mandates except in hospitals and other medical businesses.
Truckers: Oh. (Huddle together in conference). Okay, we don’t want to show our vaccination cards.
GR: Again, that’s another mandate the states are removing. Plus, do you have vaccination cards?
Truckers: Well, we have fake ones. (Another mumbled conference). We won’t get vaccines.
GR: That’s your choice. We only mandated it in certain industries to increase immunity. It’s why you see more people’s faces.
Truckers: The vaccinations contain chips to track us.
GR: FBI, CIA, NSA — those are just the agencies we have to track people who could be a true threat to the U.S. Talk to your phone service provider about the chips.
Truckers: (Confused looks on their faces) We want our freedom back.
GR: You mean the freedom to protest mask and vaccination mandates when they’ve already been reduced? The freedom to come to Washington and slow down traffic?
Truckers: Um, yes?
GR: Am I missing something here?
Truckers: (Grab guns, rifles, and grenade launchers from their cabs) We’ll fight for our freedom. Even if we have to shoot people or take over the government to do it.
GR: Let me get this straight. You want to overthrow a democratically elected government —
Truckers: Trump won.
GR: You want to overthrow a democratically elected government by force. You want to destroy property and people along the way. You want to invoke your beliefs on a larger population because you think you’re right.
You want to cause our economy to falter and our citizens to flee their homes because you didn’t want to wear a piece of cloth over your face or get a needle stuck in your arm. Is that what you’re saying?
Truckers: (Several seconds of silence pass as the truckers look at each other) Um, can we get some toll money to get home?
GR: (Rolls their eyes and leaves)
END SCENE
